Angie posted this over on her blog and it both made me laugh and brought tears to my eyes. God never fails to have me hear exactly what He wants me to and His methods never cease to amaze me. Please take time to watch the video; it's only a few minutes and I promise it will make you smile. Enjoy!
Love,
Stephanie
Showing posts with label Funny Stuff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny Stuff. Show all posts
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Childbirth Class: Week 4
Now that we're nearing the end, we finally had a class that was fairly uneventful! Not that it was without it's humorous moments, like our instructor breaking the forceps that she was trying to demonstrate with, but in comparison with previous weeks it was pretty tame.
The most interesting part was watching the girl across from me during the breathing exercises (I get distracted easily). Her mom is her labor coach and there seemed to be (and by seemed, I mean harsh whispering that was hard to ignore) a dispute about whether or not she was breathing correctly. I might have been able to ignore them, but halfway through each practice contraction, Scotlon would whisper, "She's at the 40, the 30, the 20, the 10, TOUCHDOWN!". While I usually appreciate a good football reference, the image of me running (waddling) down a football field in a hospital gown was making me giggle. Have you every tried to take deep, even breaths while holding in a laugh? It's not possible people!
Next week is our last class and I can only imagine what might be in store for us...
The most interesting part was watching the girl across from me during the breathing exercises (I get distracted easily). Her mom is her labor coach and there seemed to be (and by seemed, I mean harsh whispering that was hard to ignore) a dispute about whether or not she was breathing correctly. I might have been able to ignore them, but halfway through each practice contraction, Scotlon would whisper, "She's at the 40, the 30, the 20, the 10, TOUCHDOWN!". While I usually appreciate a good football reference, the image of me running (waddling) down a football field in a hospital gown was making me giggle. Have you every tried to take deep, even breaths while holding in a laugh? It's not possible people!
Next week is our last class and I can only imagine what might be in store for us...
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Childbirth Class:Week 3
I'm sad to say that our break from the crazy lady (as I affectionately call her) is over. Last night we focused on things the coaches can do during labor to help mom stay on track with her breathing. The first thing she mentioned is getting right in front of mom's face and telling her very firmly to focus. Riiiiiight. Knowing the gentle spirit that I am (ha!), I can tell you with confidence that this is not going to be a move that we use. My husband is smart enough to know that if he gets that close and starts barking orders, I'm liable to grab a handful of his hair and pull until I start to feel better. I love my sweetheart and I don't want to hurt him, but these are extreme circumstances people.
We were able to tour the hospital last night and see where we're going to be in a few weeks. It was pretty cool, though the highlight was when crazy lady decided to show us one of the antipartum rooms. Does she look on the sign to see if it's occupied?
Nope! She just walks right on in!
The room was definitely taken and I'm not sure mom was super thrilled to be barged in on.
On a serious note, I'm going to ask for your prayers. One of the girls in our class was admitted to the hospital and will be there until she delivers. She's only 31 weeks pregnant and they're trying to buy her a few more before they induce her. I cannot even begin to imagine how scared she is right now. Please pray for peace and healing for both her and the sweet boy she's carrying.
Thank you!
We were able to tour the hospital last night and see where we're going to be in a few weeks. It was pretty cool, though the highlight was when crazy lady decided to show us one of the antipartum rooms. Does she look on the sign to see if it's occupied?
Nope! She just walks right on in!
The room was definitely taken and I'm not sure mom was super thrilled to be barged in on.
On a serious note, I'm going to ask for your prayers. One of the girls in our class was admitted to the hospital and will be there until she delivers. She's only 31 weeks pregnant and they're trying to buy her a few more before they induce her. I cannot even begin to imagine how scared she is right now. Please pray for peace and healing for both her and the sweet boy she's carrying.
Thank you!
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Inappropriate Classroom Behavior
Last night, armed with two pillows and a blanket, we attended the first week of our childbirth classes. We were a little unsure of what to expect since we've never had a need to attend this kind of class before. Nothing, NOTHING, could have prepared us for the next two hours.
We arrived early and met the woman who will be teaching our classes. Off the bat, I'm wondering how many years it's been since she has actually been in labor. Seriously, I think she might be related to Methuselah (we later found out that she has 8 great-grandchildren). I admonished myself for being so judgmental and thought about all the wise older people that I have learned from over the years. After attending only one of our five classes, I can tell you with confidence that she is not going to be one of them.
We get in and settled into the very back row of the classroom. I usually don't sit in the very back because I'm a nerd, but Scotlon insisted and I am so glad that he did. As people are filing in, I'm secretly thrilled that I am not the largest woman in the room. I mean, I love the girls I work with but they're all dieting and skinny. It did something amazing for my self-esteem to sit with women who are not shrinking more by the day. We go around and everyone introduces themselves, when they're due, etc. Then we got down to business.
As we're discussing the progression of labor, our instructor picks up the skeleton pelvis and the doll so she can demonstrate. She shows the baby moving down and everything is going fine until she puts the pelvis back down on the table...with the baby's head still stuck in it. The baby is now sticking straight up at a 45 degree angle out of the pelvis. Perhaps if I had gotten enough sleep on Monday night this might not have been so funny. However, it caught me just right last and the laughter started. At this point, it was still containable though.
We move on to relaxation techniques and visualization. The woman on the tape she's playing has us visualizing ourselves in the womb, talking to our babies, what is your baby telling you? (My baby is telling me to get out...there's barely enough room for her in there)! Then we're imagining our babies in the ocean with water all around. (What the crap is my baby doing in the middle of the ocean? She can't swim people, she's going to drown! How is this supposed to be relaxing me)?
The tape transitions into relaxing each part of our body individually. Each appendage is getting heavy and warm. When she gets to our legs getting heavy and warm, soooo relaxed, all I can hear is Ron White doing his bit about floating down the river peeing on himself. I've got the giggles at this point and I am trying desperately not to laugh out loud. She then says to imagine ourselves warm and flaccid. I will not share my inappropriate thoughts here, but my composure took a nose dive and my shoulders were shaking uncontrollably. The girl in front of me turned around to glare at me, which only made me laugh harder. Not only am I not doing the breathing exercise, but I can't stop laughing long enough to suck in ANY air. The tape finally ends and the instructor lets us have a break. I bolt for the door as fast as my 30 week pregnant belly will let me, praying that I can hold in the laughter until I get outside.
Bear in mind, that we're only halfway through the class at this point. The rest was filled with more of the same uncontrollable laughter and praying that the time would pass quickly. The conclusion that we came to on the way home was that we essentially paid $75 for a self-esteem boost and a great abdominal workout.
I can't wait to see what's on the agenda for next week....
We arrived early and met the woman who will be teaching our classes. Off the bat, I'm wondering how many years it's been since she has actually been in labor. Seriously, I think she might be related to Methuselah (we later found out that she has 8 great-grandchildren). I admonished myself for being so judgmental and thought about all the wise older people that I have learned from over the years. After attending only one of our five classes, I can tell you with confidence that she is not going to be one of them.
We get in and settled into the very back row of the classroom. I usually don't sit in the very back because I'm a nerd, but Scotlon insisted and I am so glad that he did. As people are filing in, I'm secretly thrilled that I am not the largest woman in the room. I mean, I love the girls I work with but they're all dieting and skinny. It did something amazing for my self-esteem to sit with women who are not shrinking more by the day. We go around and everyone introduces themselves, when they're due, etc. Then we got down to business.
As we're discussing the progression of labor, our instructor picks up the skeleton pelvis and the doll so she can demonstrate. She shows the baby moving down and everything is going fine until she puts the pelvis back down on the table...with the baby's head still stuck in it. The baby is now sticking straight up at a 45 degree angle out of the pelvis. Perhaps if I had gotten enough sleep on Monday night this might not have been so funny. However, it caught me just right last and the laughter started. At this point, it was still containable though.
We move on to relaxation techniques and visualization. The woman on the tape she's playing has us visualizing ourselves in the womb, talking to our babies, what is your baby telling you? (My baby is telling me to get out...there's barely enough room for her in there)! Then we're imagining our babies in the ocean with water all around. (What the crap is my baby doing in the middle of the ocean? She can't swim people, she's going to drown! How is this supposed to be relaxing me)?
The tape transitions into relaxing each part of our body individually. Each appendage is getting heavy and warm. When she gets to our legs getting heavy and warm, soooo relaxed, all I can hear is Ron White doing his bit about floating down the river peeing on himself. I've got the giggles at this point and I am trying desperately not to laugh out loud. She then says to imagine ourselves warm and flaccid. I will not share my inappropriate thoughts here, but my composure took a nose dive and my shoulders were shaking uncontrollably. The girl in front of me turned around to glare at me, which only made me laugh harder. Not only am I not doing the breathing exercise, but I can't stop laughing long enough to suck in ANY air. The tape finally ends and the instructor lets us have a break. I bolt for the door as fast as my 30 week pregnant belly will let me, praying that I can hold in the laughter until I get outside.
Bear in mind, that we're only halfway through the class at this point. The rest was filled with more of the same uncontrollable laughter and praying that the time would pass quickly. The conclusion that we came to on the way home was that we essentially paid $75 for a self-esteem boost and a great abdominal workout.
I can't wait to see what's on the agenda for next week....
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Pregnancy Brain
My daughter is slowly draining all of my brain cells from my body. I promise that I used to be an intelligent person before I got pregnant. In fact, I used to secretly scoff at the girls who blamed "pregnancy brain" for their space-cadet moments. I am here today to tell you that pregnancy brain is very real. I forget what I am saying mid-sentence. I walk out and climb into my car, only to realize that my keys are sitting on the counter. I will ask you a question three times, listen to your response, and still walk away without knowing the answer. It's gotten proportionately worse, the farther along I get in my pregnancy. However, last night takes the cake.
I was working on a special gourmet dinner of Hamburger Helper and Five-Cheese Bread (don't be jealous of my mad cooking skills), and everything was going along fine. Ground beef is done, I added the additional liquid needed, set the timer, and walked away. When the timer went off I came back and instead of seeing a finished meal, I see white & grey gunk. Confused, I open the lid and stare at the pot for a good two minutes trying to figure out what went wrong. I call Scotlon to ask if he thinks it looks odd when I notice the box sitting off to the side.
Unopened.
I realized at that moment that while I added liquid, I never actually added the box of Hamburger Helper. Even though his shaking shoulders were giving him away, I give my husband serious credit for not laughing out loud as he tried to console his overly-emotional, pregnant wife.
Perhaps boxed meals aren't idiot-proof after all...
I was working on a special gourmet dinner of Hamburger Helper and Five-Cheese Bread (don't be jealous of my mad cooking skills), and everything was going along fine. Ground beef is done, I added the additional liquid needed, set the timer, and walked away. When the timer went off I came back and instead of seeing a finished meal, I see white & grey gunk. Confused, I open the lid and stare at the pot for a good two minutes trying to figure out what went wrong. I call Scotlon to ask if he thinks it looks odd when I notice the box sitting off to the side.
Unopened.
I realized at that moment that while I added liquid, I never actually added the box of Hamburger Helper. Even though his shaking shoulders were giving him away, I give my husband serious credit for not laughing out loud as he tried to console his overly-emotional, pregnant wife.
Perhaps boxed meals aren't idiot-proof after all...
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Gwinnett County Fair
This past weekend Bradley participated in the cow show at the Gwinnett County Fair and we all went to show our support. I have never been to the fair before so it was fun to see what they're all about. The food (for me at least), really was one of the highlights. But then again, I have an unnatural addiction to funnel cakes:) They're just so darn yummy!
At this point I need to offer an apology to the man in front of us because he was wearing a navy blue shirt and there was a lot of powdered sugar on our funnel cake. If it had been anyone but Hailey and me, this would not have been a huge issue. However, if you've ever sat next to us ANYWHERE, you know that we can not just shut up and keep our comments in. So, we're desperately trying not to laugh because that blows the sugar everywhere, which just makes us laugh harder. Needless to say, we were very unsuccessful at holding our laughter in. I'm sure that the man in front of us took his shirt off that night very puzzled about the coating of white dust on the back.
There were many more wonderful moments but this post is getting long already! I included some pictures from the weekend. Enjoy!
Gramps...I'm not so sure about this cow business
Okay, maybe they're not so scary after all!
At this point I need to offer an apology to the man in front of us because he was wearing a navy blue shirt and there was a lot of powdered sugar on our funnel cake. If it had been anyone but Hailey and me, this would not have been a huge issue. However, if you've ever sat next to us ANYWHERE, you know that we can not just shut up and keep our comments in. So, we're desperately trying not to laugh because that blows the sugar everywhere, which just makes us laugh harder. Needless to say, we were very unsuccessful at holding our laughter in. I'm sure that the man in front of us took his shirt off that night very puzzled about the coating of white dust on the back.
There were many more wonderful moments but this post is getting long already! I included some pictures from the weekend. Enjoy!
Gramps...I'm not so sure about this cow business
Okay, maybe they're not so scary after all!
Uncle B is super excited about his turn in the ring
Aunt Sam and Aunt Stephie love me cause' I'm so cute!
All this excitement made me so sleepy!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Wonderful Women
I got this from a good friend today and it made me laugh. I hope that it brightens your day as well!
"Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, you will receive a ton of crap in return."
Love and appreciate all the women in your life!!!
"Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, you will receive a ton of crap in return."
Love and appreciate all the women in your life!!!
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Water, Water, Everywhere
So...I'm a few days later than I meant to be on this post, but at least it's getting up! We have company coming this weekend and I have been a crazy person trying to get everything clean and organized. I know you're shocked and amazed that my house isn't already sparkling...ha!
We were all set to go out of town this past weekend and on Friday morning my wonderful hubby threw on some last minute laundry. I was just thinking that the washing machine was louder than normal when the water started POURING out from underneath the door. Did I open the door and see why? Nope. I froze on the spot and yelled for my husband.
I am such a girl.
He comes running in and found the hose on the back of the washer unattached from the wall and spraying water EVERYWHERE. He stops the washer and looks out at me (still standing in the same spot, ankle deep in water) and says, "Hey babe, can you maybe get me some towels?"
That wonderful calmness in the middle of a crisis is one of his best qualities. If you haven't picked up on it yet, I am not so great in a crisis. Actually, that's not true. I am really good when other people are having a crisis...I just can't handle my own!
None the less, we mopped everything up and now have a sparkling clean laundry room. Not quite the way I would have kicked off my Labor Day weekend, but when I think about how much worse it would have been if we had left the house after starting the washer, it makes me thankful that we caught it quickly.
Just one more way God is reminding me to count my blessings and not to sweat the small stuff!
We were all set to go out of town this past weekend and on Friday morning my wonderful hubby threw on some last minute laundry. I was just thinking that the washing machine was louder than normal when the water started POURING out from underneath the door. Did I open the door and see why? Nope. I froze on the spot and yelled for my husband.
I am such a girl.
He comes running in and found the hose on the back of the washer unattached from the wall and spraying water EVERYWHERE. He stops the washer and looks out at me (still standing in the same spot, ankle deep in water) and says, "Hey babe, can you maybe get me some towels?"
That wonderful calmness in the middle of a crisis is one of his best qualities. If you haven't picked up on it yet, I am not so great in a crisis. Actually, that's not true. I am really good when other people are having a crisis...I just can't handle my own!
None the less, we mopped everything up and now have a sparkling clean laundry room. Not quite the way I would have kicked off my Labor Day weekend, but when I think about how much worse it would have been if we had left the house after starting the washer, it makes me thankful that we caught it quickly.
Just one more way God is reminding me to count my blessings and not to sweat the small stuff!
Monday, August 4, 2008
Rock Star Cutie
Friday night we went to Hailey & Michaels for a night of fun, fellowship, and pretending to be rock stars! Let me tell you friends, as the singer of our rock band I can tell you that the mike is a powerful thing. For those of you that have heard me sing and are wondering how I ended up with the mike, it's not because I have talent you didn't know about.
I am simply that bad at all the other instruments.
Bad singing aside, fun times were had by all! We had a 5th member join us and I included some pictures of the fabulous Hannah channeling her inner rock star. Enjoy!
Mommy, can I get one of these installed in my crib?
Uncle Scotlon helping me get the hang of the drums.
My turn! I think I'm ready for my solo act...
Daddy's playing now so I stole his shoes. I think they might be a little too big right now!
Am I cute or what???
I am simply that bad at all the other instruments.
Bad singing aside, fun times were had by all! We had a 5th member join us and I included some pictures of the fabulous Hannah channeling her inner rock star. Enjoy!
Mommy, can I get one of these installed in my crib?
Uncle Scotlon helping me get the hang of the drums.
My turn! I think I'm ready for my solo act...
Daddy's playing now so I stole his shoes. I think they might be a little too big right now!
Am I cute or what???Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Hump Day Humor-Getting Older
Hump Day Humor
Hosted by Mercedes at Mercedes Rocks
Being the quote queen that I am, I couldn't resist using these for my blog this week. Enjoy!
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
There was no respect for youth when I was young, and now that I am old, there is no respect for age - I missed it coming and going. ~J.B. Priestly
An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. ~Agatha Christie
There was no respect for youth when I was young, and now that I am old, there is no respect for age - I missed it coming and going. ~J.B. Priestly
An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. ~Agatha Christie
Gray hair is God's graffiti. ~Bill Cosby
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred. ~Woody Allen
A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas'. ~Claude Pepper
No man is ever old enough to know better. ~Holbrook Jackson
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Hump Day Humor-Signs
Hump Day Humor
Hosted by Mercedes Rocks
I got this as an e-mail from a friend. The signs are hilarious and sure to make you giggle at least once!
Hosted by Mercedes Rocks
I got this as an e-mail from a friend. The signs are hilarious and sure to make you giggle at least once!
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
I Am Not Wonder Woman
Good Morning! I want to ask you to pray for me this morning as I have come to a startling revelation.
I am not wonder woman.
I know that you all find this just as shocking as I did! That being said, I've been on my foot a lot more the last few days and it is killing me. Last night, I not only canceled plans with my Hailey (which I NEVER do), but I also used my crutches instead of putting weight on it. Since, I would rather crawl for the rest of my life than use the crutches, I took that as a sign that I needed to sit down and put it up.
I am at work today and going to stay chained to my desk with it propped up. If you wouldn't mind saying an extra prayer that it would stop throbbing, I would appreciate it more than you know.
And if you're thinking of telling me that I need to listen to my body and be patient, Allison beat you to it:) She just sent me this:
Be still & know that I am God. ~ Psalm 46:10
Thanks for being here.
Love,
Stephanie
I am not wonder woman.
I know that you all find this just as shocking as I did! That being said, I've been on my foot a lot more the last few days and it is killing me. Last night, I not only canceled plans with my Hailey (which I NEVER do), but I also used my crutches instead of putting weight on it. Since, I would rather crawl for the rest of my life than use the crutches, I took that as a sign that I needed to sit down and put it up.
I am at work today and going to stay chained to my desk with it propped up. If you wouldn't mind saying an extra prayer that it would stop throbbing, I would appreciate it more than you know.
And if you're thinking of telling me that I need to listen to my body and be patient, Allison beat you to it:) She just sent me this:
Be still & know that I am God. ~ Psalm 46:10
Thanks for being here.
Love,
Stephanie
Saturday, July 12, 2008
God needs a megaphone
Do you ever feel like God needs a megaphone? Instead of sending you reminders through people he could just yell down the message that He is trying to give you. Not that I don't appreciate the way He uses random strangers in my life, I'm just dense a lot of the time. I can imagine Him sitting up there as He tries for the third time to show me something (that I inevitably miss) saying, "Seriously??? How many times do I have to tell you this before you get it?" Enter the megaphone.
The theme of my devotional yesterday was that God has a purpose for you exactly where you are. You may not always understand them, but God's choices for your life are never haphazard or random. A couple hours later I was driving to work listening to Christian Working Woman. Mary Welchel was talking about feeling content with God's purpose for your life. Are you noticing a theme? I wasn't. Yet.
In the afternoon a lady walked into my office and we started chatting (I really will talk to anyone if you stand still long enough!). We got on the subject of churches and I told her that I think I'm not satisfied with any of the churches I've visited because I really want to be in my Father-in-law's church. And then she said to me, "I can so understand that but you have to remember that where you are isn't a random. God has a very specific plan for each season of your life."
My jaw hit the floor.
I must have been staring funny because she asked if I was okay. I told her about my morning, and that she was the third "messenger" to deliver that information to me. She laughed and asked if I got the message yet. I said yes and we both went on about our days.
So, if like me, you have been feeling like you're not sure what God is doing with your life right now, it's okay because He has you exactly where He wants you to be. And for today that is going to be enough for me. I thank you for sticking with me and I will leave you with my favorite verse for this seaon,
Jeremiah 29:11-"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Love you all,
Stephanie
The theme of my devotional yesterday was that God has a purpose for you exactly where you are. You may not always understand them, but God's choices for your life are never haphazard or random. A couple hours later I was driving to work listening to Christian Working Woman. Mary Welchel was talking about feeling content with God's purpose for your life. Are you noticing a theme? I wasn't. Yet.
In the afternoon a lady walked into my office and we started chatting (I really will talk to anyone if you stand still long enough!). We got on the subject of churches and I told her that I think I'm not satisfied with any of the churches I've visited because I really want to be in my Father-in-law's church. And then she said to me, "I can so understand that but you have to remember that where you are isn't a random. God has a very specific plan for each season of your life."
My jaw hit the floor.
I must have been staring funny because she asked if I was okay. I told her about my morning, and that she was the third "messenger" to deliver that information to me. She laughed and asked if I got the message yet. I said yes and we both went on about our days.
So, if like me, you have been feeling like you're not sure what God is doing with your life right now, it's okay because He has you exactly where He wants you to be. And for today that is going to be enough for me. I thank you for sticking with me and I will leave you with my favorite verse for this seaon,
Jeremiah 29:11-"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Love you all,
Stephanie
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Overflowing
Reading the title of this post, I'm sure that you're thinking that I'm going to write something about overflowing with joy or being filled with God's love. Nope. I meant it quite literally.
This morning I put on coffee and the pot wasn't quite right under the spout (which would have been useful information ahead of time). You can imagine my surprise when I went back to get my cherished first cup and there was an empty pot and coffee overflowing everywhere. The counter, drawers, carpet, etc. all covered in my beloved coffee. If you've never cleaned up a spilled pot of coffee, before you've had your coffee, let me tell you, it's not the way I planned to spend my morning. About halfway through cleaning I was so desperate for caffeine that I considered licking it off the counter (go ahead and laugh, I would if I were you).
As I sat down to write this I got inspired and looked up the definition for 'overflowing'. Miriam-Webster said, "to fill a space to capacity and spread beyond its limits". Perfect don't you think?
Here's hoping that all of you had wonderful, uneventful mornings!
This morning I put on coffee and the pot wasn't quite right under the spout (which would have been useful information ahead of time). You can imagine my surprise when I went back to get my cherished first cup and there was an empty pot and coffee overflowing everywhere. The counter, drawers, carpet, etc. all covered in my beloved coffee. If you've never cleaned up a spilled pot of coffee, before you've had your coffee, let me tell you, it's not the way I planned to spend my morning. About halfway through cleaning I was so desperate for caffeine that I considered licking it off the counter (go ahead and laugh, I would if I were you).
As I sat down to write this I got inspired and looked up the definition for 'overflowing'. Miriam-Webster said, "to fill a space to capacity and spread beyond its limits". Perfect don't you think?
Here's hoping that all of you had wonderful, uneventful mornings!
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