Like a breath of fresh air

Today has been a wonderful, lazy day. My friend Kristine is here from California and we spent the day just laughing and catching up. I forget how ridiculous and giddy we are until we are together again. She is an absolutely wonderful friend and I feel incredibly blessed to have her in my life.

During the time that Alaina was in the hospital, we were blown away by the love and generosity that was poured out on our little family. One of the most incredible things was done by Kris and her fiance Bryan. Because the majority of my maternity leave was eaten up by Alaina's NICU stay, I was only going to have a week or 2 home with her. She decided that it just wasn't acceptable that I only have a tiny amount of time with my child so she did what any good friend would do.

She threw us a party.

A ton of people that we have never met got together to celebrate my daughter. They donated money. They donated items to raffle off. They made us beautiful handmade gifts that we will cherish forever. A couple weeks after the party, I got a package with the presents and a check that enabled me to stay home for 5 weeks with my baby girl. It was one of the most incredible, generous things that anyone has ever done for us.

I can not express enough how grateful I am to her, and to all of the people that supported us during that season. You blessed us in ways that I can not even begin to describe.

Thank you.

So grateful

Tonight I am overwhelmed with gratitude for my healthy daughter. Nothing happened, nothing changed, I am just loving my beautiful baby girl. It's been a rough couple of weeks since we came home. Alaina hasn't been sleeping well, Scotlon has been putting in a ridiculous number of hours at work, and I've been beyond frazzled. I've cried because being a mommy is so much harder than anyone tells you it is and then immediately felt guilty because our story could have had a very different ending. I've looked at my kid and said, "come ON, I just need 5 minutes of peace" and then hugged her so tight she probably couldn't breathe because I do love her so very much.

If I had to guess, I think every new mom probably feels that way to some extent but no one really talks about it. Why is it so hard to say that I need help? Why do I feel like I have to have it "together" all the time? We put so much pressure on ourselves and each other to not show any signs of weakness when it's not weakness but reality that we can't do it alone. Can you imagine what a difference it would make if we spent half as much time building each other up as we do picking each other a part?

I'm a little scattered tonight. I'm not sure exactly where I was headed when I started this post but it definitely wasn't where I ended up...

~Stephanie

Room-In

Last night I got the opportunity to room-in with my sweet girl at the hospital. They asked me to stay to see how she would do solely nursing through several hours. Needless to say, I jumped at the chance! It was so wonderful to get to sleep with her next to my bed.

I use the term 'sleep' loosely since there was absolutely no sleeping going on. Please keep this in mind when you're reading this post:)

Scotlon had to work but Hailey was so kind and stayed with me so I wasn't alone. She was a huge help and I could not have done it without her. Around 5:30, the machine had been beeping non-stop because the wires were twisted, Alaina wanted no part of nursing or the bottle I was trying to give her, I was running on about 90 minutes of sleep total, and I was so glad for another person in the room with me. Hailey kept me from going completely crazy and I will forever be grateful for her!

This morning after her 9:00 feeding the nurse pulled Alaina's feeding tube out. They want to observe her for 24 hours and if nothing crazy happens, Scotlon and I will room-in again tomorrow evening. Then on Sunday we will get to take our sweet daughter home! We are VERY excited and just a little nervous. Please pray that everything goes smoothly and that the next time I'm writing, it will be with my girl sitting next to me!

Love,
Stephanie

I can't think of a witty title so we'll just go with 'Update'

Today has been a good day, full of rest for me. I spent a lot longer at the hospital yesterday and I think it wore me out more than I realized! It was a wonderful day though and I wouldn't have traded it. Aunt Jana, Aunt Hailey, Uncle Michael & Hannah all came to meet Alaina! Hannah had to wait outside because she is still a little young to visit, but they'll be spending a lot of time together in the near future.

Alaina also had a visit from our pastor and she decided to show off her ever-improving lung power for him! I can't blame her though since they were inserting a new feeding tube up her nose. Of course...if she would stop pulling it out they wouldn't have to put a new one in as often. I tried to tell her that but she refuses to listen. I never would have expected a stubborn child since Scotlon and I are so easy going and sweet...ha! In reality, I'm shocked that she's not more of a pill given the genes that she got:)

Last night when Scotlon got there to visit, she had managed to work her oxygen tube out and it was resting up on the bridge of her nose. The good news is that her stats were okay and she was breathing totally on her own for a few minutes. It's too much work for her to keep that up right now though so the nurse put new tape on the tube and we're hoping that she'll leave it alone.

Her feedings are going okay so far. She's not doing really fantastic but she's not doing really badly either. She gets a good rhythym going and tends to take about half the bottle before she needs a break. Once she sits up to burp, she gets tired and has no interest in working for the other half of the bottle. The physical therapist has reassured us that this is perfectly normal and that feedings are typically the last thing to master before kids leave. We are continuing to pray that she gets the hang of it. Once she gets it down a little better, they are going to let me try to nurse. I'm very hopeful that maybe by the weekend or first of next week, they'll let us try. Not that I don't love my pump, but feeding my kid has to be more rewarding than feeling like cattle...

Sometimes I get so tired and frustrated but then I look at that sweet face and it's totally worth it. Don't you just want to squeeze her???

I love that face too:)

Her new room in the Intermediate Care Unit. They didn't know her room was in ladybugs when they made the sign for her crib.

Aunt Jana, Aunt Hailey, Alaina & Me. We all look so much alike in this picture though none of us are actually related!

"Then they cried to the Lord

In their trouble and he saved them from their distress.

He sent forth his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave.

Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love

and his wonderful deeds for men."

~Psalm 107:19-21

Love,

Stephanie

Happy Birthday Hailey!

Today is a very special day...27 years ago today my best friend was born! We didn't meet until 12 years later and I am so very glad that we did. A lot has changed over the last decade or so but our friendship has only grown. Through the years there have been mission trips, Top Gun viewings, boyfriend highs and lows, Friends' marathon weekends, crash diets, surgeries, weddings, funerals, babies, and everything in between. She has the biggest heart of anyone I know and I am so honored that she chooses to spend time with me! I could go on for days and still not come close to telling you how spectacular she truly is.

Hailey/Goose/NB, I love you more than words can say. I hope that you have the most fabulous day ever. I look forward to celebrating many more birthdays with you in the years to come!

Cure for the Monday Blues

I hate Mondays. I struggle to get out of bed and then try to ward off feelings of mild depression as I realize that I have 4 more days before I can sleep in again. It didn't use to be quite as bad, but I am finding myself moving a wee bit slower these days! Yesterday was particularly challenging because there were two of us trying to get ready. For the first time since we've been married, we don't each have the bathroom to ourselves in the morning. We discovered quickly that we both missed the day in kindergarten where you learn to share things! Adjustments were made on both sides and we managed to make it out of the house without strangling each other.

The end of the day, however, was much better than the beginning! We spent the evening at the Emerson household where we were treated like royalty. Hailey not only made her famous lasagna but surprised Scotlon with his favorite dessert...cupcakes with homemade buttercream icing. Nothing cures the Monday blues like licking fresh icing off of the beaters! In the midst of the mixer going, pots and pans banging, the boys yelling at the xbox (because that will keep their players from dying), I look over and see this:

Girlfriend is passed out. I have no idea how she is still sleeping with all of the noise around her, but I hope and pray with every fiber of my being that Alaina sleeps just like her cousin!

After she finally woke up we put her new t-shirt on her and tried to get a picture of her in it. Ha! She did NOT want her picture taken, which she told us very clearly over and over again. Being the persistant people that we are, Hailey was finally able to get a good one (note the saying):

That's right! Hannah is going to be a big sister on or around November 20th! She already loves her "baby" and will kiss & pat mommy's belly. She got a little confused when we tried to explain that Aunt Stephie had a baby too, but we'll work on that:) Of course, Hailey & I are thrilled to be having our babies together! After all, we do everything else together so why not this???

Here's hoping that your Tuesday goes by quickly and smoothly. If not...only three more days to go!

Love,

Stephanie

New Year

I had plans for a great New Years post about fireworks and laughter but it all seems very frivolous right now. A friend of mine spent her New Years burying her brand new nephew. Please say a prayer now and in the coming days for this sweet family. She posted this on her page a few days ago:

"Britton Beck Pilgrim was born yesterday. He was a beautiful chubby perfect blonde haired baby boy. Another child his Daddy can't deny. He was 8 lbs 11oz and 21 inches long. He is in Heaven now and though we don't understand, we know God's will is perfect and planned and I know one day I will know the answers to my dreaded questions.



Tiffany and Drew are doing okay. I know we have a long road to travel the next coming days but as a good friend reminds me, there is only one sets of footprints in the sand right now...they are certainly not mine, not Drew's and not my sweet sister's...they are His and we will trust that He will continue to carry us all through this. Please continue to pray for Drew, Tiffany and Claxton. Please also remember both sets of families. We are all struggling to find sense of this and the right words for them."

Lord, I don't understand it and I don't like it, but I know You are in control. Please hold us while we rage, comfort us as we weep, and walk with us as we search desperately for the answers.

The Only Way

As I have mentioned previously, our Bible study group has grown by leaps and bounds since we started! Last week one of the ladies that joined the study trusted Jesus to be her savior! She and a couple of friends wrote the following poem and I just had to share it with you. Please continue to pray that God blesses our lives and helps us to reach others through this study.

The Only Way!

Go ahead, put up your wall
Rest assured, one day He’ll call
And when your wall starts to crumble
Bowing your head, feeling so humble
So broken hearted, you begin to pray
On your knees he hears you say
Forgive me Lord, Save my soul
Heal me now, make me whole
Take away my sins and help me grow
Let your Holy Spirit flow
Thank you Lord for this day
Saved by Grace, The Only Way!

Pumpkin Patch

I just had to post these super cute pictures of Hannah at the pumpkin patch this weekend. I can't believe how big she's getting!

Honored

This morning it was such a nice surprise to see that I received two awards! An old friend and fellow blogger passed along both the "Friendship" and "Kind Blogger" awards. Sarah has been such a good friend for as many years as I can remember and I am honored that she thought of me when passing along these awards. In the spirit of the awards I will pass them along to 5 people and hope that it brightens their day as much as it did mine!


1. Ruth Z~We met less than a year ago and she has grown to be one of my dearest friends so quickly!


2. Andre~My sweet friend and accountability partner.

3. Josh Roberts~ Technically I am better friends with his wife Julie, but he is awesome! His work with Connect Rome is so exciting.

4. Abby Fernandez~ An old friend that I would love to catch up with very soon:)

5. Allison~ I met her through Stampin Up! and will always be grateful that she shared her glue with me on that first day.

Last but certainly not least, I would like to honor my best friend Hailey. She doesn't have a blog but she is the most kind-hearted, generous, beautiful, funny woman I know. She is the kind of friend who will paint with you until the wee hours of the morning even though she hates to paint. The kind who will make you laugh until tears are streaming down your face and you are dangerously close to wetting yourself. The kind who will hold your hand because she knows you need to feel like you are not alone. I could go on forever and it still wouldn't do her justice. She is simply my Goose.

I am so very blessed by all of my friends and family. Thank you all for being so wonderful!