I am...who?

There seems to be a lot of talk lately about labels and how we define ourselves and our roles in this world. Do those lables really make up the whole picture? Or are they just a snapshot, a 3x5, when the real picture is a panoramic? My lovely friend Brianna wrote an amazing post, painting us a bigger, better picture of who she really is. I am so often inspired by her words and this post was no different. So without any more babbling or stalling, here is my own.

I am Stephanie.

I am Betty McSunshine, Ashley, Kiwi, Alice, Georgia, Pima, Steph, Stephie to none, thank God.

I am Queen of Nicknames.

I am mom, daughter, sister, niece, friend.

I am a little exhausted, but mostly invigorated. Life is a precious gift and I don't want to waste a second of it.

I am an imperfect person.

I am giving myself permission to be an imperfect person. It is not an excuse to be lazy, selfish or intentionally hurtful, but a realization that I am human, and as such, will always fall short. If my house is not spotless at the end of the day, if the laundry isn't all caught up, if I didn't cook my daughter a gourmet meal, or get the pictures hung or the flowers watered, it is OK. The world will not cease to exist because my bed went unmade for the 12th day in a row. I can not be everything, do everything, please everyone. It is impossible and unreasonable to ask that of myself.

I am a good friend and I am fiercely loyal. If you need me, I am here. Regardless of the day, the time, the reason, if you call me, I will come. No questions asked. I am forgiving but I don't forget if you hurt me or my family.

I am a judgement-free zone. I may disagree, it may not be what I would have chosen, but I respect that we all have the freedom to make our own choices. I will never judge you. In return however, I ask that you not judge me. I absolutely refuse to build relationships with those who do.

I am bold and intense. I am loud and my brain has no filter. I am going to say something that hurts your feelings at some point. I am going to apologize for hurting you, because I am truly sorry that I did. I am never going to be intentionally mean.

I am addicted to post-it notes and quotes. Lucky for me they go together so well.

I am a creative soul. I love to make jewelry, cards, things for the house, etc. My favorite thing to make is baby blankets. As I sit with the soft yarn intertwined around my fingers, I pray for the child it is going to. That it will keep them warm and offer them security. I secretly hope that they keep it always and pass it down to their own babies.

I am brave. I am also terrified. Of so much I don't even know where to start. But I refuse to give in to the fear. So I put on my big girl panties and move forward, one tiny step at a time.

I am a believer in Jesus. I believe that He loves me always. I believe that He loves you always. I am so thankful that He extends grace and mercy to a train-wreck like me.

I am in love with my daughter. I am the mom who stares at her in awe and wonder. I am proud of her and the little person she is already becoming. I am her protector and I am always surprised how quickly that shield flies up.

I am incredibly blessed by amazing friends. Marcel Proust said, "Let us be grateful to those who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom." My friends dry my tears, make me laugh, love me when I'm unlovable. They even hold me tightly while it storms and cover my ears when it thunders. Did I mention I am scared of storms? I am a sissy.

I am a writer. I write every single day, even if it's just for 5 minutes. I want to publish the novel I am working on. It is the first one that I believe actually has the potential to not suck. I dream of the day that I can hold my book in my hands and weep because I actually freakin' did it.

I am at peace the second my toes hit the shore of the Pacific Ocean. As the freezing water rushes past my ankles, my toes dig in a little deeper and root themselves to the spot. All extraneous noise dies, the voices in my head shut up, and all that surrounds me is the whipping wind and crashing waves. That is what happiness sounds like. I am blissful.

I am me and I am the only me there will ever be. I am strong and true and brave.

I am ME.

Hump Day Humor-Getting Older

Hump Day Humor

Hosted by Mercedes at Mercedes Rocks

Being the quote queen that I am, I couldn't resist using these for my blog this week. Enjoy!

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis

There was no respect for youth when I was young, and now that I am old, there is no respect for age - I missed it coming and going. ~J.B. Priestly

An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. ~Agatha Christie

Gray hair is God's graffiti. ~Bill Cosby

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred. ~Woody Allen

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas'. ~Claude Pepper

No man is ever old enough to know better. ~Holbrook Jackson

Peace and Contentment

"Whatever we are waiting for - peace of mind, contentment, grace, the inner awareness of simple abundance - it will surely come to us, but only when we are ready to receive it with an open and grateful heart."


Those who know me at all will tell you that I love quotes! After all, if someone already said what I'm thinking perfectly, why not use their words? I came across this one from Sarah Ban Breathnach this morning; I skimmed it and was about to move on but something stopped me so I went back and re-read the last part, "but only when we are ready to receive it with an open mind and grateful heart."

Only when I am ready to receive contentment and peace will I find them. Now, I know that you are thinking that a person would have to be crazy to be anything but ready. And I agreed with you until I really sat and thought about it for a few minutes. How often do I pray for peace only to continue to worry about it? As Christians we know that God is in control and that worrying about it won't change anything. Jesus asks in Matthew 6:27, "Can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life?". The answer is always no. And if you have been my friend longer than 5 minutes I have quoted this to you while telling you not to worry about whatever it is that is troubling you. I humbly apologize as I am guilty of not taking my own advice!

I realized this morning that I almost like to worry. It's tangible and it gives me something to do with my thoughts and feelings when I should be dumping them out at the foot of the cross. Do you know how backwards that is? That is about the dumbest thing I have ever admitted out loud! And something about putting it in black and white makes me feel even more ridiculous than I did when it was just my own thought...

So from this point forward I am going to make a conscious effort to leave my worries with God. He's far more capable than I am of handling it anyway!